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An Encounter with self

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I was walking through a long channel. Darkness engulfed everything and I felt a pang of fear within. Not to mention, I was scared to my death. Yet, I mustered the courage and continued walking. Suddenly, I felt that someone is calling my name. Astonished, I looked around. No one made his appearance clear to me. I thought it to be my imagination and resumed my walking. It wasn’t too long that I heard the voice again. This time I thought to catch the person right, so I turned around quickly. Alas! I couldn’t see anyone. I was frustrated by now. Who is this, not letting me complete my journey and rather irritating me, I thought. I was more interested in completing my journey and surely, didn’t want to see anyone.

I sat down on a stone lying besides the path. I was tired by now, mentally as well as physically. Suddenly, I saw someone looking at me with great despair. I tried recognizing him but I couldn’t recollect from all the years I have lived so far. He came closer to me and in a very sad tone said, “Hi how is you?” I replied with no enthusiasm, fine. Before I could pose a question about his identity, he said, “I am sure you have not recognized me.”

I was taken aback with surprise. “Can he read my thoughts?” I thought.  He answered without allowing me to say anything, “I am you”.

My eyes popped out as if somebody has pushed me off a cliff. He reaffirmed again, “yes, I am another you. I was thinking of meeting you since long but somehow I couldn’t because you were always surrounded by things or people, which I was not comfortable with. Today I found you alone and thought this to be a good time for our meeting.”

I said with an affirmation, “but I have never seen you or met you and you say you are another me. How is it possible? We are so different.”

He said, “Yes, I know that we don’t look the same but we definitely were at some time in the past. It’s you who has changed so much that now you don’t even recognize yourself. I warned you at every step you took in your life but you suppressed my voice without even listening to me. You wanted everything to be achieved at a greater speed than others but everything comes with a price. And you gave up on me, your true self just to achieve those materialistic things. At the end of every day, you counted your achievements but failed to look at what you paid as a price to get them. You even forgot to pay your gratitude to those around who contributed to your success. You thought your success to be a result of only your efforts.” He took a deep breath. He was panting like anything and I could feel my throat choked. I was still trying to catch up with the core issue, which was somewhere hidden in his statements.

Before I could even utter my confusion to him, he took over the conversation and started, “I was always there waiting for your attention because you never wanted to be disturbed. Remember, you often scolded your family members for disturbing you during your work? Being a witness to those incidents, I stopped calling your attention and kept mum. Every time, you achieved something, I was happy but also felt scared. Because I knew that this success is a momentary one and is not going to be a lasting thing. You mistook happiness for material gains, my dear.” He said with his eyes getting watery.

He made me think, something which I had not done over the years. It took me a little long to realize the truth behind his painful expressions. He is right, I thought. I have come a long way since the day I started marketing my skills to get the best of everything in my life. The best job, the best position, best salary, best house, best car and above all, best relations around. But I forgot the basic rule that you can drive your desires in the beginning but later, they drive you and even lead you to a dreadful end. And so today, here I was, at the end of everything best I achieved through whatever ways. After the recession hit the market, my flourishing career had come crashing down with a major halt. I had lost everything I termed as best, career, position, house (rental), and above all my best friends. They left me as if they have never joined hands with me or never shared those so-called special moments with me. I had been left with nothing but a good bank balance and a dark future.

I was now at my worst, from best to worst, sounds rhyming. By now, I had my eyes welled up and I wished to cry everything out in front of the person, whom I termed as a stranger few minutes back. I looked at him with a great hope and he didn’t disappoint me. He opened his arms to me and I embraced him with a huge force. Tears rolled out and I lost control over myself. We remained in the same position for some time and when parted, I felt relieved. I said with a heavy heart, “I am sorry for what I did. But is there any chance that I can come back?” He smiled and looked at me, “of course, you can and you already have, otherwise you won’t have hugged me so tightly. I knew that you need me so I came to accompany in your new journey.”

I took his hand in mine and started towards my destination. But there was a difference in me now. I was walking with a firm determination, with a clear vision and knew what I really want. All this happened simply because I had reunited with my own self. My very own best friend, who will never leave me no matter what the situation, is and how the life paves its way further, we will be together. This faith brought a smile back on my face and I started………………………………….

Purnima Gupta – Assistant Manager, Centre for Career Coaching
Unitedworld School of Business, Ahmedabad

Unitedworld School of Business is formed by a group of India born economists, academicians and top executives, offers MBA in Mumbai, Kolkata and Ahmedabad.  This B school provides 1-2 Years full-time MBA programs with India’s first multilayer placement cell. It offers MBA in Marketing, HR, Information Systems, International Business, Retail Management, Agribusiness, Media, Entrepreneurship and Finance.

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